Top 2 Books for Self-Development
My top 2 books that are a must read when getting started on self development and improving social skills
1.) How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
2.) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Mason
"How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie:
My thoughts: This book was hands down the most life-changing for me. This book was first published in 1936, but its lessons are true even to this day. Starting from the first chapter this book presents social rules with many evidence to back them up. In fact, the first chapter was one of the most amazing openings to a book I have read, and in my opinion presents the most important rule to follow in this time period, “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain”. Anyone, no matter how much they think they know about social skills, can learn from this book. I truly believe that if followed, the rules of this book, combined with the second book on my list (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck) can help solve a lot of the problems we face today as a nation in the United States.*
Time and time again, for many negative experiences I have had, going back to this book has helped clear my mind and as a result the book has validated itself to me. In some instances, I’ve even realized, after being painfully honest with myself, that I had “broken” the rules listed in this book, and if followed it could have brought along a different result in my interactions.
Why this book? It helps one really understand others, and create and develop healthy social skills to bring positive results in one’s life in a genuine way (the book itself was made to help create success not only in business, but also in personal lives). As such, if followed, the advice in this book can help one strengthen relationships with others whether they are co-workers, colleagues, family, significant others, or friends.
"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Mason
My thoughts: This book for me was the most revolutionary. Its approach to live a good life, as written on the cover of the book, is counterintuitive. Well, it may be counterintuitive for current society, however I believe that not too long ago, it would have been called an obvious approach. The author of this book, Mark Manson engages the reader into evaluating their values and priorities, and in the end advocating for people to focus on what really matters. Basically, your energy at the start of the day is like a full battery, and all the things you choose to care about during the day take away from that battery. So, if that is the case, we have a limited amount of energy and should first prioritize what we value so that we can give that precious energy to those things that matter. Pain is a part of life, as the world has been, is, and always will be, full of struggles and hardships. So, the author encourages the reader to fully embrace the pain instead of trying to avoid it in pursuit of a happy only life. Full of examples, the book is a great way to look at the world in a different viewpoint.
Why this book? For me, this book succeeded as the metaphorical red pill it aimed to be. A lot of things I didn’t understand about the world felt explained after this book. I can’t tell if it was my upbringing or my naivety, but I just didn’t see the world in the right way and always felt as if something was missing. I knew how I interpreted things was my way, but I didn’t realize that it wasn’t the only way. This book really made me realize that there multiple ways to look at the same problem, some healthy and some not, and I have the power to choose which way I decide to look at things. In the end, the most important thing I got from this book was that a lot of things are out of our control, but the one thing that is in our control is how we react to them. This reminds me about something my uncle always has said to me, that nothing on this earth can choose to harm you if you don’t want it to. We have the power of choice in choosing what we decide to care about.